The Sways and the swings

This piece is to document how I feel in these months of my second pregnancy, even though this is a second time and everyone around including me expects myself to take it very smoothly and approach it with an experience of a onetime mom already, weirdly I feel extremely different this time.

This emphasis to me how no 2 pregnancies can be the same. I feel totally different this time, my hormones going haywire like they have never heard of the word Baby before!! Don’t even begin to talk about mood swings,  for someone like me who never noticed any significant mood swings during the months or even my 1st pregnancy, this time feels crazy. In fact its only now that the term mood swing made any sense to me. I go from being extremely sad and depressed for a week for reasons that always existed and I dint give a damn about it ever, to a highly energetic, happy and content like a butterfly hopping about from flower to flower appreciating nature, obvious things and people who were always around. These energy dips and rise are highly fluctuating (though the dips are longer than the rises sadly). While my husband(and me) wonder why it all feels’ new’ instead of ‘expected’, the fact is it really is!! I don’t even remember how the 1st 3 months of my 1st pregnancy flew by, while this time I can very well remember how each week of my nauseous 1st trimester passes by.

Meanwhile few things are still the same like the unexplainable joy that hits you when you see your baby in a scan for the 1st time. That was a total bliss and nothing less than what we felt the 1st time around. On the other side of the coin, I see my legs swelling up already, this was something I expected from previous experience just that this time its propping up quite early. Time to start walking around with balloon feet.

Rebecca: #latepost

If there is one thing that has keep me on cloud 9 about this whole episode of mom-to-be part-2 is my daughter’s excitement to have a sibling. Even though she does not have much of an idea of what the concept of a sibling is and what its gone to mean to her, she is sure excited about the fact that she could have a baby who will stay with her, in her house all the time. The longest time she is exposed to a baby until date could be just 20mins. One can say how crazily obsessed she is with kids younger than her. I’ve seen her really fascinated with kids and loves to play the big sister with them, hugging and kissing them caressing their face even if they push her away rudely.

While I still wait for the day I can clearly tell her she is going to have a little sibling of her own, the blabbermouth that I am, I could not wait to see her reaction to the news. So one night I decided to give her a hint to this big news (a pulse check). I told her that if she wanted a baby in the house for herself, she has to pray every day so that god gives her a baby in mama’s tummy, and at the end of many days (as she has no idea what months and weeks mean yet) we will have a baby when God listens to her prayer.

Boom!! This was when she exploded literally jumping on the bed with a face brightened up like a 100 bulbs and for a second I paused to think if I have spoken too early as we had not even completed 3 months then. She said  ” Mamaaaa I am so excited!, will the baby sleep with me? will the baby come with me to school?? can I carry the baby? shall I take baby to Sunday school?…and on and on…She just could not contain her excitement while I was re-evaluating all that I said, did I really break the news to her, it was only supposed to be a hypothetical situation I wanted to give her!! She took it seriously (thank God the news was real) and she told everyone who came home “there is a baby coming here after so  many days”.

The next day she woke up after that night, the 1st thing she asks me was “mama will baby come today!!?”  That’s when I realized I was stuck, I couldn’t even explain how long 9 months is going to be because ‘Yesterday’ and ‘Tomorrow’ are the only days she know as of now. She has to at least sit through nursery and 1st standard to understand the months and years for a calendar.

One Month to My Tiny Toe’s Big day!

Entering the 9th Month with my Baby Bump, here we are at week 35!! Looking at the beginning of the last month of common supply of oxygen!! Next month you graduate to being free to breathe your own fresh air and shout at the top of your voice to draw all my attention!!

Hope you have prepped up for our upcoming marathon and put on those chubby cheeks to catch all the spot light outside. I know you can’t wait to get out and stretch to glory cuz mum’s accommodation has become so cramped for you that u can’t even kick. I can only feel u roll n twist now cuz the space won’t let you break dance anymore. Not to mention I myself feel like an unbalanced happy feet penguin with the disproportionately distributed body weight and the ever swollen frogy like legs.. 😀 I’ve reached at some stage where my stomach refuses to expand even for a emergency intake of extra oxygen when I yawn now(leave alone eating an extra ice-cream).Feels like the over stretched belly shouting out to me “Stop!! Quit yawning for heaven’s sake or i’ll burst” :O

I mark this month as the month of a big extended watermelon in front of me (I can’t see my step ahead u see :P) and many of the no-sleep-but-can’t yawn nights. I know that’s the warning of the reality ahead!! “the no sleep nights and days” that I have heard of. You’ve already changed me from a hibernating-bear-like-heavy-sleeper to a no-sleep-owl at night!! You schedule you hyperactivity rolling and tossing between 11 pm and 2 or 4 am!! , and by the time you decide to let mama sleep there comes out the smiling sun and the singing chirpy birds to say “Good Morning!! Your chance for today is over, better luck tonight!! Now it’s only me…I know you are gonna do the same when u come out and then keep the whole family partying till late night!! Buhahaha!!:D  Whatever it is, can’t wait to see you!! Be ready for your “Happy Big Birth-Day” you Bundle of Joy.

Am Blinking, winking, and nibbling on my cord

Hey yo baby darling, we are in the 26th week and I hear now you can open you little eyes for the 1st time and look inside your swimming pool☺. You must be wondering what’s all that you can see in the dim light. Even I wonder what you can see now. Go ahead and explore, you have your tiny miny toes and fingers to look at. Start trying to count them, mama will teach you to count till 20 on them when you are out here ☺. I’ll try and stay in the bright light for you during the day so that you get some amount of it in there to explore. But, remember when I turn off the lights it is time for you to go to sleep. You must be learning to blink and wink now too. So it’s simple you gotta blink or shut your eyes when anything like your little fingers are headed to your eyes and block the poke, and wink at mama when we both are up to something naughty together.

And it seems your milk tooth are ready under your baby gums and permanent tooth buds are starting to grow in. Isn’t that wonderful?? Something that you will use to bite chicken legs and chew on bubble gums  7-8 yrs later. From now are also getting ready when you’re still inside mummy’s tummy ☺. Am sure you are another masterpiece of the almighty just like all of us. It even makes me look back on how much in detail I was worked on when I was as tiny as you are. Am sure you’re grandmamma had no clue of what I was doing inside.

By the way on the outside I feel like a dragon woman is blowing out fire right from my esophagus now, with all that acidity you are giving me by occupying all my digestion space. I could burn out a whole banyan tree if I tried blowing at it may be 😛 so you better try curl up in there and stay at peace with my digestive system okay?? Don’t fight over property and space already :D. I’ll take you to the playground when you’re out here, Patience!!!

Me at the bus-stop with a Football Tummy

Finally I have a tummy that looks almost like a football. It’s a milestone at 25 weeks-today a bus driver could identify it and stopped for me to get in through the empty door in front.(oh I have waited for this for the last 5 and a half months!!)Bliss!!!!! Now this is worth a mention as here in Mumbai all of us (men and women alike) are only allowed to enter through the jam packed back door while the front is reserved for the old, disabled and of course mummies-with-babies-in-their-tummies…(hehe…my turn now thanks to the lil one:).Psst its rightful for you to wonder why this incident is exciting me so much, I reveal the embarrassing secret behind this here-I have been screwed more than a couple of times in the last 1.5 yrs of my (not-so frequent) bus travel for getting in through the front door by mistake in a language  that I don’t even understand (Marathi is the local language spoken here and I haven’t got a hang of it yet). See who cares when you don’t know what all that sound means 😛 I generally just give them a “oops.. sorry” look and stare out of the window till I get off :P, but this is so not fair!! I sure have a reason for doing this, back in Bangalore I was so used to the ladies front door and gents back door thingy u see..:P. Do they trust the men with the making the women feel comfortable more than in the south?? Or the ladies here know to fend for themselves better without any special laws?.(Both ways for now it’s vacation from the squish-squash at the door for me now)

To top this, a girl offered me a seat too!! Can it get any better? (I can blow her a flying kiss). Too much happiness in a usually crowded 9’O clock bus in my place where people try their best to not look your way even if they can see u loosing balance trying to hold a bag ,hold the bar and reach out for the ticket money at the same time…:) (looking like a dizzy drunkard in the bus).They sure give you looks that say “lol this must be your 1st ride…” “just wait till you see the humps, sudden breaks and peak time crowds ahead, all the best to you”,”I can sit here and watch you all day if i didn’t have to get down”. How the world suddenly changed around me because of my soccer ball :P,it was not a week ago when a 40ish year old lady rudely snatched away my seat while i turned around to take a ticket before sitting. Mmmm… Life is good outside, except for my 1st “Braxton Hicks” on the inside… That’s okay for now, just a trailer of what’s in store I guess 🙂

Wohoo!! It’s a Head_Bang_Rock_Band inside !!

Haha ya..I saw my phone bounce off my tummy!!I just can’t believe this! I can’t stop laughing and being amazed. It’s like my tummy has a mind of its own. It almost pushed away my hand that was resting on it, browsing my phone… You little legs have become so strong to make me feel you’re in there now!! Thank you so much for doing it again and again so I could show your Dad! Yes he felt u too. He felt you’re first “Hello” for him. He said he always knew you were a big time kicker since the very 1st day we saw you on our 2nd sonography scan screen.

Oh how I cherish that day when we recognized you even before the doctor looked at the screen. You appeared immediately when she placed the scanner probe (the scanning thingy) on me. You moved your hand and leg (it was like you waved hi just for us). I remember having tears in my eyes. That was the 1st time it sunk into me that a little human being is growing in my belly. Back then I used to wish the doc called us for a scan every week.
I can’t believe how small you must be to stretch and kick inside this tiny space. you must be all curled up like a millipede to fit in there!! I wish I could de-code what u meant by each kick..Are you hungry?? Do I quickly eat something for you?? Are u exercising or sleepy and telling me to mute for a while :p? do I play some music for you or make it quiet??..do you want me to sway n dance for you so you can rock to sleep…I can do all this but am not sure what u like right now.

Okay one thing I learnt now is that you’re super annoyed if you know I am hanging around with my phone, you have pushed it away and drawn my attention from it to you more than once now(kicking every time I rest the phone on my tummy). I will try and do it less now don’t worry, I know you ain’t gonna give me any time for it post you’re arrival anyway you kick boxer. Nobody else will take the limelight other than you.
I hope I quickly learn how you talk to me through you kicks now, and your gagagugus later. I love you. You’re doing great in there darling! Keep going!!

Grow and Bloom inside me, Grow inside me till you are strong!!

You fragile tiny little butterfly don’t you dare try coming out of your cocoon before its time, don’t come before you’re a fully formed little warrior ready to take on the Big Wide World!! I know we are getting a little heavier by day on my feet now and we yet have a long long way to go (2 people walking on just 2 legs for another 17 weeks), but I can’t let you off my legs unless you’re ready to march out strong and immune.

Grow tough, grow plump and cute (please look like the best of Mamma and Dada) and grow brave to face a much bigger world than you’r lil water bubble. You would have to breathe your own oxygen, swallow your own food and do many more things I do for you now (just the 2 things to start with). Practice well before you’re out, I know you are breathing in and swallowing all the water around you. Let me tell you, you’re sure doing a great job in there getting things up and running (even though all that you require will be supplied in time through you belly cord even if you just slept in there).Don’t worry about the big debut, I will sure help you out and walk you through it all till you can grab and gobble up all your favorite food on your own, till you are tired of me. I will help you out as my mother did for me.

Hope you are happy and entertained in there discovering your own little toes and fingers(Some things that you have never seen before and will be seeing a zillions of them out here).The Doctor told me you can hear mummy now and your heart beats faster than mine.(**psst, It’s a secret) I try playing naughty with you these days, by flashing bright light so that I wake you up n get you moving sometimes when you are asleep, but you just don’t bother reacting cuz you got immune to your mom n her crazy ideas.

Sleep well while you can cuz you won’t be able to as much, once your cozy wombterm is over. There’s  gonna be the bright sunlight that doesn’t reach you in there now during the day and lots of TV noise and phone calls dada makes n all the talking(shouting, screaming, singing, laughing, crying and pestering) that mamma does in the evenings that won’t let you sleep.

When I turned into a Human Hamster Ball

I felt your kick for the very 1st time a day before my 27th Bday, precisely on  the 30th of July 2016,after 20 weeks of baby making (pregnancy).I felt more like you jumped high or leaped rather than just kicked. (I was standing and cutting veggies  preparing a Bday meal).Did you mistake your umbilical cord for a skipping rope u little gymnast?? 😀

I wasn’t very sure it was you until I felt it again at work n pinged my friend in between a conversation saying “I think my baby Kicked!!!” 🙂 (I still doubted if it was just my hungry stomach making me imagine things)

Now after 22 weeks 6 days I am pretty sure it’s the lil tossing, turning and kicking that you’re trying out in there that I felt back then and continue to feel now. I can’t feel them on the outside as of yet, but I can sure feel them inside when am quietly settled down for prayer or work at my office desk.

I can’t wait until I start feeling you on the outside, I can’t wait to share the experience of your nudges and kicks with your dad(your future punching bag, pull-up bars, Superman and Santa Clause) and am sure that is when both of our imagination are gonna come alive.

Mamma n Dada waiting for u to punch harder my Gym_boy_baby_doll”